Discover the transformative power of Ephesians 5 as Eastside elder candidate Tim Blankenship sheds light on the true essence of submission and love in marriage. Through heartfelt personal stories and insightful reflection, Tim dismantles common misconceptions, revealing that headship and submission are not about control or subjugation, but about mirroring Christ's love for the church. This episode promises to enlighten you on how mutual respect and unity can elevate your marriage to an act of worship to God, filled with self-sacrificial love and respect.
But this discussion isn't just for married couples. Whether you are single or married, Paul's teachings on submission and love have profound implications for all our relationships. Join us as we explore how kindness, living like Christ, and daily prayer can protect and nurture the bonds we share with others. Through Tim's passionate sermon and prayers, you'll be inspired to abandon old, hurtful ways and embrace a life that honors Christ in every interaction. Tune in and let this message reshape your understanding and practice of love and submission in your personal and communal life.
Discover the transformative power of Ephesians 5 as Eastside elder candidate Tim Blankenship sheds light on the true essence of submission and love in marriage. Through heartfelt personal stories and insightful reflection, Tim dismantles common misconceptions, revealing that headship and submission are not about control or subjugation, but about mirroring Christ's love for the church. This episode promises to enlighten you on how mutual respect and unity can elevate your marriage to an act of worship to God, filled with self-sacrificial love and respect.
But this discussion isn't just for married couples. Whether you are single or married, Paul's teachings on submission and love have profound implications for all our relationships. Join us as we explore how kindness, living like Christ, and daily prayer can protect and nurture the bonds we share with others. Through Tim's passionate sermon and prayers, you'll be inspired to abandon old, hurtful ways and embrace a life that honors Christ in every interaction. Tune in and let this message reshape your understanding and practice of love and submission in your personal and communal life.
Good morning Eastside. My name is Tim Blankenship. I'm an elder candidate here at Eastside. It's great to be with you this morning. It's great to worship together. What a joy to sing with Carly and Sam this morning. It was a joy to be a part of that. It's a little bit different this morning. We, as the Sun Prairie Missional community, we, I say Sam, sam's kind of our, she's our, she's our go getter, she's the rock, she's the one that stands up and says this is what we're going to do and we just follow. We do what she says. You know, cause we're kind of scared of her. But you know what? We, we love her and uh, thank, lover, and thank you guys for singing and leading us. It was a joy to hear you sing. The great thing about that. You know, ben and I, we see this and we see what you can do. Man, I don't have to do anything anymore. It's awesome. You guys can just sing. I can listen to you. It's good to be with you this morning.
Speaker 1:
As I prepared for this message, I wondered why I picked this passage. He used to give me other choices, like he did last time I preached. He gave me several choices I could do. And we're here in Ephesians. The last time I preached was in John, and that was a pretty easy one for me to do because it was about farming. So I'm an old farmer, so it's pretty easy to do this one. Definitely not about farming, but this is the one I picked and I felt like the Spirit was leading me to this. I guess I may have thought that since I've been married longer than a lot of you have been alive, that it would be easy to prepare Wrong. Then I thought it might be easy to pick one thing out of this passage that Paul was trying to say to us. But no wrong. Again, this passage has many things to say to us, but I do want us to leave today with this Submitting to and loving one another in marriage is a reflection of Christ's love for the church.
Speaker 1:
Those two words, submit and love, do not go together, especially in today's context. The world paints submission as a demanding word with no room for love. Paul says in verse 32 of our text today that this mystery is profound. Those of us who follow Christ get a glimpse of this mystery because of what Jesus did on the cross for us. He submitted to the Father because of his great love for his bride, the church. Now, I'm not saying that you're going to leave this place today with the understanding of this profound mystery that Paul is talking about, but my prayer is that Jesus will open our hearts and our minds to begin to understand his desire for his church to demonstrate to a lost world the beauty of the unity that submission and love bring to relationships.
Speaker 1:
So, before we dig in, let's pray together. Holy God, we come to you this morning, we praise you and we thank you for your goodness. God, we just sang of how all our life you have been faithful and how you are so good and you are better than anything. So, god, today, as we dive into this passage that you have for us today, would you open our hearts, would you help us to understand what you have to say to your church? Would you give me the words and that they would be clear to your people? God, so, just open our hearts as we dive into this passage that you have for the church today. So be glorified in our time together, and all of God's people say with me.
Speaker 1:
So there are three questions that I would like to ask this morning. What is the baggage we are carrying into this passage? What do we do with the baggage and why should we do relationship this way? So again, what's the baggage that we're carrying into this passage? What do we do with the baggage and why should we do relationship this way? So again, what's the baggage that we're carrying into this passage? What do we do with the baggage and why should we do relationship this way? So first, what is the baggage we are carrying in? Perhaps some might be that headship is a right to rule or control and a submission, and submission is coerced or slavish.
Speaker 1:
The Bibles, or the translations that I've seen, they have headings and separations. These headings are not scripture. They are tools to help us understand what the writing, what the writer, is trying to help us see. Ben showed us a few weeks ago that Paul's introduction was just complete at the end of chapter three. And in the ESV there are seven headings just in those three chapters. The first is a greeting, then a spiritual blessing in Christ, then thanksgiving and prayer and so on. Now I'm not saying that this is wrong at all, but if we look past these headings that are put in our Bibles, it makes it a little easier to see this continual thought that Paul is writing to us. I didn't try to count, but I would be curious to know how many times in Paul's writings he says therefore and so and now. This just shows that his writings, so many times, are continual thoughts. So as we read the text today, we should read verse 22 as a continued thought from verse 21. I think this could be where some of the baggage is built up in the church.
Speaker 1:
If we just start at verse 22, wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, leave that by itself. It sounds much different than when you put 21, verse 21 with it. Much different than when you put verse 21 with it submitting to one another out of reverence to Christ. Paul's writings are beautiful and amazing. If we read Ephesians, chapter 5, as one continual thought, you can better understand his passion for submission and love.
Speaker 1:
Unfortunately, the church has taken the opportunity to twist Paul's words, to twist what Paul is telling us. Yes, paul does say in verses 22 through 24 that wives should submit to their husbands and he gives us reasons why. So let's read this verse 22 through 24. Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body and its mirroring Christ's relationship to the church. Christ is the head of the church and the church submits to Christ. Many times in scriptures we hear the church described as the bride of Christ. So this is why Paul is saying that wives should submit to their own husbands. Back in verse 2 of chapter 5, paul tells us and walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. He gave himself up for us. He submitted to the Father, and a big portion of chapter 5 demonstrates how God intended for the family to be. Submission is illustrated in various family relations.
Speaker 1:
Wives submitting to their husbands is not the same as what children owe their parents. It doesn't command all women to submit to all men either. Men and women are created equally in God's image. Genesis 1, 26 through 28 tells us. Then God said let us make man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens, and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. So God created man in his own image. In the image of God. He created him, male and female. He created them and God blessed them. And God said to them Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living creature, every living thing that moves on the earth.
Speaker 1:
God intended for the submission of wives, of husbands, of wives to husbands, for the health and harmonious working of the marriage relationship. This was a quote that I had in my study Bible that was helpful for me to start to put away some of the baggage that has been taught in the church over the years. When this submission is healthy, wives and husbands honor God in the marriage relationship. In no way is Paul instructing husbands to be ruling or controlling over their wives. Submission is not slavish or coerced. It's free, willing and glad. Paul dedicates three verses here to the wives but nine verses to the husbands. Why do you suppose this is? Maybe the husbands need three times the teaching, I don't know. God knew that the church was going to mess this up and that words were going to get twisted. So verse 25 is and I put this in my in my text as the freshly cut, untreated two by six that Paul uses to hit us on the forehead.
Speaker 1:
So let me give you a little context of the freshly cut oak two by six. Okay, back in my days we uh my brother and I we uh, we built a milk barn together and we used a lot of our own lumber on the farm. We cut down our own, these monster oak two buys, and we had a guy come and saw the boards. So you go to the lumber store today and a two by six is not a two by six, right, daniel? It's an inch and three quarter by two and five, three by two and five and three quarters. And it's cured and it can break. You lay an oak tree down and you cut a two by six. That thing is fresh, it don't break, it is, there's just the smell of it, and it is a two by six. So this is what Paul is using right here in the next verse of this text today.
Speaker 1:
And, husbands, we need to be awake and we need to hear this because it's coming right here Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Husbands, love your wives Not only that, but love her as much as Christ loves the church. Christ didn't and doesn't domineer or disrespect the church. He gave himself up for the church. Husbands, love your wives, give yourself up for her. Paul tells us three times in these nine verses husbands, love your wives. He repeats it. We need to hear it. We read it in verse 25 and in verses 28 and 30 and verse 23,. He tells us to love our wives as ourselves. So verse 28,. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Verse 33,. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself.
Speaker 1:
Over the years, I've been approached by a few young couples getting ready to get married and they've asked me for any advice I could give them. This has always been my advice when you get married, you don't matter anymore, you die to yourself. Lori and I will be married on the 20th of this month, 37 years, and I'm still trying to figure that out. If any of you all and most of you do know me, I love my wife. She's pretty special to me and I still can't figure it out. I'm selfish. I don't want to die to myself. I struggle with loving her like christ loves the church. I'm trying but I fail daily. But jesus is there, picking me up when I fail to love her as much as he loves his bride, and he teaches me. So I try again. Husbands, when we die to ourselves and love our wives, jesus is glorified. And this demonstrates to the world, who does not understand the true meaning of marriage, that it shows Christ's love for the church meaning of marriage, that it shows Christ's love for the church. So now, what do we do with this baggage? Let's look at verse 32. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
Speaker 1:
Paul knew as he wrote this letter that it was going to rock the church. Paul is calling wives to submission, but he is not calling for ownership or unequal value. In those days women didn't have much say in things they were given in marriage, a lot of times like property. So the idea of the wife submitting to the husband was cultural. But I would imagine then as well as today, there were people that would twist words and take them out of context. So, for example, in the church at Ephesus there could have been a man that had been given a wife in marriage like property. He feels that he has ownership over her. Now Paul sends this letter to his church, telling him that he is to love her like Christ loves the church. How did Christ love the church? He gave up everything and humbled or submitted himself for her. Submission and headship are different. Do you think that his world just got turned upside down?
Speaker 1:
It's stated five times in our text today how the marriage relationship demonstrates Christ's love for the church. It does not in any way teach dominance, ownership or lack of respect, only love. Paul is talking to the church family, chapter 5, verses 1 through 2,. Therefore, be imitators of God as beloved children and walk in love as Christ has for the church, husbands and wives. Christ loves marriage.
Speaker 1:
It was created by God. Paul quotes this passage, genesis 2.24, here in verse 31. This was before sin came in and has been trying to destroy what God has planned. From the beginning, god's plan for marriage was to be an act of worship. Have we ever thought of it that way? Have we thought of marriage as an act of worship to God? Verses 25 through 27 of our text today show us that Husbands love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. If husbands will display this kind of love to their wives, wives submitting to their husbands comes naturally as an act of worship to God in the marriage relationship Verse 33,. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband. After all these things that Paul has told us, he just puts it down in black and white right there Husbands, love your wife. Wives, respect your husbands. It's pretty clear. Lori and I are blessed that both sets of our parents are still with us. Lori's mom and dad will be celebrating 60 years married this year and my mom and dad will be celebrating 63 years.
Speaker 1:
I got to witness a marriage of love and respect growing up. As most of you know, I grew up on a dairy farm, so my parents' roles were spread pretty wide, all the way from milking cows to attending sporting events to serving faithfully in our church. I remember one summer in our church. Our church did a complete remodel. In addition to the building, the foundation of our old church was built in the late 1800s, but it was time for some additions. Church was built in the late 1800s, but it was time for some additions. For some reason my dad got to be the chairman of the building committee and I think a lot of it was because he had a smaller tractor, he had a sledgehammer and he had a chainsaw. My dad was not a construction professional, but he just seemed to be the one that did that. He always said he could never do a remodel without a chainsaw and a sledgehammer Just can't be done.
Speaker 1:
Again, it was summertime when this happened, so crops still had to be taken care of, the cows still had to be milked, hay had to be baled. So we would get our morning chores done and Dad would give instructions on what had to be done, and as I look back on it, I think my oldest brother took these instructions way too seriously. Then dad would be off to the church building, mom would. She would make sure that we were getting things done. We were fed, the cows were milked All four of us boys were still alive and then we would be off to the church to help in any way we could, most nights until midnight or later. Then the next day we'd start it all over. That went on for a few weeks until the project was complete.
Speaker 1:
I didn't realize it then, but as I started into my marriage with Lori, I saw submission and love demonstrated in my parents' marriage. Dad never ruled over my mom. My mom never submitted to him out of fear or lack of respect. They did it together. Those were some long days, but my parents showed me and my brothers how God intended marriage to be. I'm not saying that they had or have a perfect marriage, and I know they would be the first to say that. But I know that God gave them the strength and wisdom to get through some really tough times. So Paul is telling us to get rid of the old baggage that could be hurting your marriage. The patterns of our marriage should mirror our relationship with Christ. My mom and dad gave themselves up for one another every day and thankfully they're still doing it today.
Speaker 1:
So, eastside family, why should we do relationship the way that Paul instructs us to in this portion of Ephesians, chapter five? One thing I think we should do is believe that it is written for us today, june 9th 2024. It's as real today as it was when he wrote the passage to the Ephesian church. Hebrews 4.12 says For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. We must believe that this text applies to us today. God's word, like no other, is alive. Everything in his word applies to us today, even if it was written over 2,000 years ago. Of course, paul was specifically writing to the Ephesian church and how marriage relationship was to work, but our God knew that he was going to teach his people how to live in the marriage relationship until his return. We, as his people, are blessed to have this living word to instruct us. Having a marriage that is rooted in Christ gives us strength to hold on to when the wind blows hard, when you have a sick spouse, when you have a sick child, even when she doesn't put her clothes in the closet after they are washed. We have this to hold on to.
Speaker 1:
What is Paul saying to those who are single? Paul instructs everyone how to have relationships. Yes, even those who are single. Just because you're not married does not mean that you have a lesser form of a relationship with Christ. We all have the same instructions. Remember verse 21, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. It doesn't matter whether you're single or married. We are called to submit. It may be in a marriage relationship or it may be in a single relationship with your church family. The principles are the same. The blessings are for all of us, married or single. Let's honor Christ by submitting to one another and show the world what Christ-centered relationships look like.
Speaker 1:
I'd like to close with a few final thoughts. Pastor Ben said some things a couple weeks ago, chapter four, that we can apply to our time together here today. First, be kind to one another. Husbands, wives. If we are kind to one another, submission and love are there. If you're anything like me, it's easy to fall into self-pity or just plain old selfishness, and when I get that way, lori is the first person that feels it. She's there. I'm going to take it out on her. Be kind.
Speaker 1:
Second, live like Christ as our second nature. If we spend all of our time working never working on relationship, just work, no leisure time, just work that will become our second nature. Work If we spend time in the word, if we spend time in prayer. If we spend time with our brothers and sisters worshiping together, living like Christ will become second nature Family. Don't? We hear this at least every Sunday? And I'm sure if you don't hear it, and I'm sure we hear it through the week, and if you don't see Ben or Houston or myself, we can show you. We're to see and hear it here at Eastside.
Speaker 1:
We want to love Jesus, live like Jesus and speak of Jesus. This needs to be second nature Family. If we are living like Jesus in our marriages, submission and love are there. Living like Jesus will invite submission and love into our marriages. Those two words are not enemies, they go together. It takes work, it takes patience, it takes time, but God will grant his peace on our marriages If we love Jesus, speak of Jesus and live like Jesus in our marriages.
Speaker 1:
Lastly, abandon our old ways. I know that not everyone was blessed as I was, with parents that modeled submission and love. I can't imagine the hurt that some have had. One thing I do know Jesus knows no person can understand your hurt. Jesus does. But this requires something from you Give it up. You have to give it up. Abandon the old ways. Give it to Jesus. Don't hold on to that hurt. Jesus can and wants to carry that load for you. I'll say this again Submission and love are not enemies. They go together. So our marriages can be presented to God without spot or wrinkle or any such thing.
Speaker 1:
The evil one knows that marriage represents Christ and the church. Why wouldn't he attack it? Husbands, wives, live like Jesus in your marriage. Show the world what it means to submit and love. Husbands, pray for your wife. Husbands, pray for your wife. Wives. Pray for your husbands Every day. This is important. Pray for your wives. Pray for your husbands every day. They need it. They need it. Don't let the evil one speak lies into your marriages. Lift them up in prayer. That will protect them. Will you join me in prayer, please?